When I was in Junior College I had a wonderful English teacher. She opened the gates to the wonderful world of English literature for me. I used to wait to go to her class even when attending college was not much in fashion :) One day she was discussing the concept of "Solitude" in class. I still remember one of her thoughts that she put well in words "We are too much surrounded by people to be alone". At that time I thought it was some literary way of defining a difficult concept of Solitude. But as grew older and especially when came to US , I found how correct she was. Too many people around us to be alone.

While growing up, I do not remember my family was inundated with guests and relatives. We did have family functions and festivals where we got together with relatives and friends and enjoyed the time. But it was never the most important thing on the list. Personal space was always important and even though my parents did not say it directly,after entering college both me and my sister did have right to be alone. I like to be with people but at the same time I value my space immensely. I think that's why I got used to the American way pretty quickly. I like the fact that people do respect your space and boundaries and do not encroach upon your life.

I had few friends who would always have relatives hanging in their houses even though they had exams or their mom was sick. I used to think how come people do that! But I think in India personal space is not a much valued concept. We try to accommodate so many people in our lives that sometimes it's hard to be alone. Of course I am not anti-social or anything. But what I like is to have some alone time when I like to do my own things or sometimes nothing.

By being left alone also includes not asking probing questions about personal life. I just don't understand why do people want to know about your life so much! And not many of those people ask you about your hobbies, career interests or which movies do you enjoy! All they want to know about is your personal life. I have heard so many questions like, when are you getting married? What does your husband do? Where did you meet? When will you have children? How many kids you want? Why did you get married in US? OMG! Just stop. Give me a freaking break. Some of these questions are not to be asked by anyone except parents. Especially about kids! I just don't understand why do people have this immense urge to probe? I recently chatted with a school-mate after about 13 years and she asked me when am I going to have children? What crap!

I think in our society where we value all these relations (I am not sure if all of them are valuable at all), we need to understand or perhaps teach kids since the beginning that it is important to give space to others and have your own. Unless, one is alone one never thinks! Being surrounded by dear ones is great but being alone is necessary to think and analyze about one's life.

I definitely enjoy being alone and I hope others will too understand the importance of solitude.