For last few weeks, the article that Yale Law Professor Amy Chua wrote has been circulating and has created an immense debate about "what is good parenting?" Now, Amy Chua has also published a book about her parenting style and I think this new debate has been a good publicity for her book. Of course, there are people on the both sides of the issue. Amy Chua's article brings out some good points about parenting and some extreme ones. It is her parenting and really we can only say that's her choice. We can not debate if it is right or wrong. We can choose our own styles when it comes to our children. The article and the debate made me think about my childhood and my parents.

Like many other parents I know, my parents had some flexible rules and some strict rules. Growing up we had to go to school regularly, do homework and get into extracurricular activities. I definitely enjoyed the extracurricular activities and studying was fun sometimes. I don't really remember me or my sister cringing about doing our work. We were always among the good students, may times topped our class. Ambition 'to be someone' was inculcated through talks and examples. But I don't remember the times when my parents went crazy about their expectations or resorted to horrible punishments. Of course, some times I might have felt, that they were too tough or demanding. But looking back now, I feel they struck a good balance between love and punishment. I think being a girl, there was never a hitting incidence involved but thinking, something I do might make them angry, was enough for me behave as they said.

I definitely would say that my parents made us think independently. When we were in college, many of their "have to do" s kind of vanished. We had some rules when it came to friends. We were supposed to bring all our new friends home. My parents have always been quite popular with both our friends and our friends would visit them even when we were not be there. I think at the age of 16 when I did not know how to judge people, this rule worked really well. It was kind of silent approval from parents to our friends and we never felt it was wrong or weird. As I grew older, I knew who I would take home, boys and girls included.

I definitely give 100% credit to my parents' decision to support me when I decided to pursue B.A. after 10th grade. Almost all my classmates from school opted for engineering and I knew my father wanted me to do the same. You know, how Indian mind set works. But I knew it was not for me. There were some opinion clashes but in the end I did what I wanted to do and I am extremely grateful to my parents that they support me till date even when professionally I am struggling.

Love for arts, languages, reading. theater, politics and most importantly public service is my parents gift to me. Till date , like most of the girls I have to call my mother to tell her when I see a new movie or read a new book or enjoy new theater production. Does it mean that we never had any disagreements? Hell no! I would fight with them about too many things. Like when they did not want me to continue to be a part of the theater team after the first year in college. I was so mad and upset, but after few days when the whole theater group ended up being a big political joint, I thanked them about their decision. I could never do anything if parents told me not to do. Initially it was fear of their anger and later on it was fear of making them upset or unhappy.

Small things and infractions are going to happen in any relationship. But the kind of close nit family we have, it's worth it. I don't know how others grew up, but as for me it was wonderful and happening and democratic at times. So even if some "happy child" philosophers would not agree with my parents choice of do's and don'ts; I agree with them 100%. I know that I am who I am because of them. Sacrificing a little bit of sleepovers or no theater times, was worth it!