I love getting a haircut. I have always been the "short hair" girl since I was a child. Of course, few years ago I decided to give it a shot and grow my hair out. Well, the experiment was not too unsuccessful as I could grow them out; but then again it's just not me. So I decided to chop them off and I might the first bride in history who chopped off her hair just one day before the wedding. Reason, I just like the feeling to being light. Oh yes, cutting them off makes me feel light and happy. :-)

I don't visit salons often and I don't visit them to do anything else but to cut my hair. For a while I wanted to look like Mariska Hargitay (whom I admire a lot but no way I am as gorgeous as her). So I tried different styles she had. From bob to spikes! It was an experimentation phase and I was having way too much fun with that. In fact I realized, I can carry spikes pretty well. Of course, I need to be a little more enthusiastic everyday to work on hair and apply the products. But the spike was quite fun and I was told in DMV office to get the new ID picture with the new cut since I looked 'very cute' (blushing :-)!) . I was in Mariska phase in Arizona. When I moved to A2; it was a little different. I found a really great place that cater to the clients the best. They are all young stylists, funny, good at their work and of course not too expensive. So I decided I will do something else again. This time I wanted to look like Ellen Degenres (again, not as amazing as her but nevertheless) So I cut them short short. And it was quite fantastic. I felt light and cool. What's it about hair that changes your perspective about yourself? My stylist told me that I should probably get some funky hair color. But I was not sure of that. I told her I will do that if I go back to school. Professionally, it doesn't look good. But still changing hair again made me feel fantastic. 

I think like your clothes and shoes, your hair speak a lot about yourself. For some reason, all the powerful and strong women I admire, have short hair. Somehow for me "short hair = strong woman". And of course, short hair means less work every day. You can just wash and wear. For me short hair also means I rebel. There may not be a relation between what I feel and how I look but it makes me feel strong and different. These days I am in Cate Blanchett phase (again I love her and admire her fantastic work). All my role models are strong, successful and independent women who carry themselves so well that even with simple jeans and a casual haircut they announce their presence. May be I will be like them one day but for now I will take the Hair :-)

It's just the beginning

When you are born and brought up in India; there are certain milestones you are supposed to hit before 30. First, you are supposed to be an engineer or some sort of technical professional who brings home good amount of money (Thankfully this is changing rapidly as parents are becoming more and more supportive of wide career choices. So when I say technical career it's from my childhood days. However, this requirement is more or less true for a large section of population till date.) Secondly, you have to have a car, an apartment that you bought, and other material things that one needs at home. You should have a certain amount of bank balance, savings accounts and you must be on some sort of investment schedule. Thirdly, and probably the most important is you have to have a spouse and a child before you hit 30. When I look at these requirements I just say, LoL. How in the world is this supposed to happen when until you hit 30, you are sort of trying to grasp the vastness of the world and understand who you are.

Thank you America, for not having these deadlines for me. While talking to a friend few months ago, I realized that accomplishments as viewed by the society; are impossible to achieve before I hit 30. It took me 24 years to understand what I want to study and it took even more years to understand what I want to be when I grow up. And I use the phrase "Grow Up" seriously; because there is so much growing up to do even after one hits a certain age limit. Knowing who we are and what we want takes years than the society would allow us. But I am glad I took all that time to reach the point where I stand now.

Until I left home to come to US, I was a child. Literally. I did all academic studying but when it came to life experiences I has zero account credit. After living alone in a different country and in a completely different culture; I got to see things in new light. I took lot of time to realize what it was, I was looking for. Self realization takes time and we have to give that time. I still don't get the rush to finish everything before 30. I feel personally, it's a gestation period until 30. Then sort of we come to life. There are few exceptional people I know, who just knew who they were at a very early stage. But then most of us keep struggling for a long period of time before we reach a place where things get familiar. Unfortunately, many of my friends never got that chance of self-realization and now they just 'are'.

In spite of the reality of acute competition, I think we need to take a pause and realize "Hey, in the lifespan of 80/90 years, reaching 30 is just 1/3rd of the journey. Let's take a step back and see what I really want." I feel being 30, is just the beginning. Beginning of life as some sort of cognizant human being. I think being 30 is actually when one's journey as an adult begins. Until then we are just young-adults who can vote and drink and get married legally. But when it comes to understanding our potential, our dreams, our life; 30 is when we really become adults. 

So to all my friends, who turned 30 or will be turning 30 soon; Welcome to Life. It's pretty fantastic!

And here goes another episode of bullying. And this time it's a woman bus monitor.Karen Huff Klein. I could not watch more than 5 seconds of this horrible act, caught on video. The video now has gone viral and the community has shown great support for the woman, who is not only the resident of Greece, NY but also is a widow. As if being a widow is easy, that poor woman was taunted because of that. What's wrong with our children? When did they become so insensitive and cruel and psychopaths? Day after day, weeks after week, we read a news about some child committing suicide because of relentless bullying. And it need not be a gay child; he/she could be someone the others think to be different or weak and take great pleasure bullying. When did the children become so horrible?

Childhood, as I remember was the best time of my life. Everyone in my family went to a semi-public school and we had students from all economic and class backgrounds. But never in my life I remember the day when someone was looked down upon because she lacked a certain quality. Being a high-school student in India is all about getting fantastic grades and excelling in extracurricular activities. Even the divisions were set in a way to reflect the quality of students (like A would be all over 3.5 GPA and so on and so forth). This was actually much more deliberate division of students, according to their academic achievements. But as I remember the students from less academic achievement class, were good at so many other things (sports, paintings, music, dance) that we the "A" students never felt any different or at times may be lacking certain life qualities others had. I was into sports throughout school days and I made some great friends while playing with the team and of course they were not A students. In fact, I remember I once said something jokingly about someone's academic ability and I was reprimanded very strongly by the teacher. I am glad she did that. Never at my home, such "I am better than you because I am A students" behavior was encouraged. In fact, my parents were extremely cautious about not letting me and my sister fly high; no matter what.

Isn't this how it's supposed to be? Everyone is different but difference is what makes life so beautiful and enjoyable. Aren't we supposed to celebrate the differences? What's wrong with kids these days? I am not child educator or psychologist, but if children are on their way to be bullies; something is very wrong with the adults who are supposed to inculcate values. We all like to make fun of others and pull leg or react sarcastically but making someone so miserable that they choose a path of death or have a psychological breakdown; is not "making fun" it's "criminal". I know there are laws against such behavior but then where is the strict implementation? Something, somewhere is missing the mark. Parents, teachers; I don't know whom to blame. But this is a very serious problem.

Being a child should be the best part of life not the worse. And being a bully should be the worst part of once's life; not the best.

Today I cached up upon Satyamev Jayate episode I missed after coming back to US. This time it was about Honor Killings. First of all, honor killing sounds like an oxymoron. What kind of honor there will be in killing. Secondly, the issue of honor killing is about killing the couples who get married in a situation deemed undesirable for their families. So the family members end up killing those couples or one of them. Where is the honor in killing your own flesh and blood. All the stories featured on the show were extremely emotional and horrible. Some of the couples were lucky to be alive but still living in fear. Some of them got the worst of it. Then they had people from Harayanvai Khap panchayat to understand, what sort of Panchyata law is involved and if there is any legal right to the panchayats to carry on such practices (need not be killing but giving the decision whether the man and the woman can marry each other). It was all very backwards and in 21st century when APJ Abdul Kalam wants India to be superpower, what sort of social norms are we still thinking about and following?

I thought love conquers all. As long as they are mutually consenting adults; who is society and for that matter even close family to object and pass judgement. As the person from "Love Brigade" pointed out, it's about keeping the woman under the man's rule. If we let the women choose whom they marry; this extremely strong power just slips away. In fact the whole notion of marriage and the patriarchal system is about keeping the woman under the thumb. I am not for patriarchy but I can understand the system up to a certain limit but deciding who will live and die is not the desired outcome of such system.

Where are we going? What path are we following as a nation? We boast so much about The Indian Culture, Indian Values; where are these values when it comes to honor killings and shunning and rapes and female foeticide? I am so ashamed of my country right now. One would hope that these social issues will weed away over the period of time but it looks that they are becoming more and more common. And when will the society change? And when will the people/families of those couples will think? Just because someone is not following the so called tradition, kill him? And who decides what's the tradition anyways? It's just makes me extremely sad to think that  in a country that boasts to be one of the eldest civilizations in the world, people have forgotten how to be civilized. 

Someone would say nobody can do anything about it. But of course they can. We can start with our own families and communities and change their perspective. It will be a very long process but nonetheless we have to try. And of course government and legal system should make the sentences harsher and implement them. The perpetrators of these crime should dealt with a very strong hand. The legal system should make it a point that such crimes will not be tolerated. 

I hope the programs such as Satyamev Jayate will bring awareness about these issues and if it can change life of at least one person; I would say we are on right track.

White Christmas

I don't celebrate Christmas in its traditional sense. But I enjoy the festive feeling. Snow on the ground, smell of burning firewood in fire place, hot coffee; they are all joyful. Decorating Christmas tree and buying gifts could be fun too. Even though there is no other tradition for me per se, there is one tradition that I have been following since the year I landed in US. And that is "White Christmas".

I watch White Christmas every year on Christmas day and enjoy Bing Crosby and Danny Kay and their songs and dances and the simple deed they do for their General Waverly. I love that movie, it always makes me feel that there are good people out there who do simple things to bring others joy. I first watched this movie on my first Christmas night in US, all alone in apartment, just feeling down and depressed. I just switched on TV and White Christmas was being aired. I started watching it and was totally glued to the TV. I loved the movie like anything. I felt happy and rejuvenated. Though it was not a white Christmas in the city but it became in my heart. Since, then I follow the tradition every year and watch this wonderful and classic tale of Christmas.

What else does it mean to celebrate any holiday? We celebrate to bring happiness and realize that we are not alone. White Christmas will always remain my tradition and I hope it will become your too!

Culture is in your blood

I just started reading Anita Desai's novel "Fasting, Feasting". I just finished her daughter's novel last week, The Inheritance of Loss. I enjoyed that one a lot. While reading the current novel, it suddenly dawned on me that though I have been reading non-Indian authors, both contemporary and classic, I feel closer to Indian authors and the stories they write. Some of the stories written by Indian authors actually have no bearing on my life at all or their themes are completely different than my experiences, but just the people they portray and the stories they tell, both before and after independence, are just closer to my heart.I don't agree with all their thoughts all the time, but I can understand why they write those stories.

Culture is so much in our blood. When I read " In the Convent of Little Flowers" by Indu Sundaresan, I felt as if I know these people. The stories may be fictional but the people she writes about are somewhere to be seen in India. And in her Taj-Mahal trilogy, I could see the Mogul raj and the Kings and Queen of Mogul Raj, as if I have known them all my life. I feel closer to them than Tudors :-) It's just that I have heard these stories all my life. And without even realizing they became a part of my inheritance and cultural identity.

Culture is in our blood and we can't deny it. I love O. Henry and 'Cop and the Anthem' might one of my all time favorite story but still when I read Yayati, I know him much more closely. Wodehouse's Jeeves is out of this world but still Janoba Rege is closer to my heart. It's just that something that one is born and brought up with, one can hardly forget. The people, the stories, the streets and the fights are so relevant to me till this day, that may I read tons of novels, these Indian authors I will always find relevant.

We can not deny our culture and heritage. Even when living in this beautiful country that is a melting pot of all cultures, my heritage is always with me. I don't have to shout it out or say anything about it at all or even celebrate it, I just know it in my heart.

Well, I am closer to writers and novelists, I wonder how others feel it? I know Beethoven's concertos are like God's music but still in the morning I listen to Bhimsen Joshi, by default :-)

Fall is here. I can smell it in the air. Air smells clean, crisp and cool. The leaves are already falling on the ground and turning into magnificent reds and yellows. The wind is almost cold. But there is still sun-light. The mornings are wet though.
Of course, they are. It has been raining almost non-stop for two days. But even with so much rain, it is still beautiful and divine. I take a look outside my window and see leaves blowing and turning and then falling softly on the grass. Few chipmunks running amok on the grass trying to find treats. When I step outside, I smile. The cool breeze on my face makes me happy. I see people pulling on their jackets and joggers carefully zipping up their wind-cheaters. Then I realize, it is cold, it is Fall.

Back in the house, the hardwood floors are quite cool and I need to wear socks now. I pull on my sweater and then just put my hands under warm flowing water in the kitchen. It feels nice. I think about switching on the gas heater. But decide against it. I say to myself, I can handle few more days without heater. My spirits are high and I put a kettle of tea. Then I think, how lucky I am to enjoy this gorgeous weather. I have never enjoyed the cold weather, how foolish of me. It's OK to get cold and it's OK to feel the chill down to my bones; once in while. The light outside is different. It goes from dark mornings to sunny afternoons to even darker nights. Day light is getting shorter and shorter. Any time there will be dark afternoons now.

My kettle is done and I am sitting in the bed, with my warm comforter on my legs and Agatha Christie on my bed stand. I sip the tea and I enjoy Poirot's adventure. I realize how wonderful the life is. It's Fall and it is time to enjoy warm blanket, hot tea and cold weather.